We have been busy, but a relaxed busy.  Met one of John's best friends, Jeff, which was nice cuz all I hear is "Jeff this", and "Jeff that", and the "You would LOVE him!"  Well, he was right (You hear that John, you were RIGHT), Jeff is just as nice as John claimed. Then we spent the day on another one of his friends house boat, which was pretty fun as well.    My friend has a newborn!!! Hung out with her and her precious Lillie.  I want one!  Boys are leaving for a week, depressing, and possibly 2 weeks, more depressing.  John and I have plenty things to keep us busy.  Doing some DIY stuff around the house, have a friend coming to visit for 4th of July, then my other bestie coming to find a house!! Fun times in store for us.

She held on longer than any of us expected, but this morning my Grandmother lost her battle with cancer.  She slipped into a "coma-like" state last night and died peacefully in her bed.  My mother- heart broken, I am not sure it has sunk in yet.  Me- I just want to be there for her and I am very, very happy that her suffering was not too great or too long and she had a calm and peaceful passing.   This picture below is last Thanksgiving when my Grandmother visited.  She complained of a throat ache (throat cancer) and bronchitis, and an annoying cough that wouldn't go away (lung cancer.)  It was shortly thereafter we learnt of her sickness.  It was nice spending that last time with her while she was still well. She was able to spend quality time with her grandkids as well as her great-grands.  The ENTIRE family took turns visiting in Jamaica, as she did not have the strength to see us all at once.  It was good to see her, even though our...

Daddy, because of you I...well, exist.  Because of you I know I am special because you told me every day.Because of you I made it through some really hard times, you were and are still always there for me.  Because of you I always know I have a friend to listen that always has my back.  Thanks for letting me watch T.V. when I wasn't allowed to, bringing me home chocolates and pepsi (which was a BIG deal back then).  Thank you for everything you have done for me, and I hope you know how much I love you. Jesse, because of you I have the 2 most wonderful little boys in the world.  I know we may not always see eye to eye but when it comes to our boys we can always come together and do what is best for them and I appreciate that, and I am sure when they are old enough to understand what we do for them, so will they. John, because of you the boys have a good role model.  Because of you  I get to show them by example what a loving, caring relationshi...

Talking with a friend a couple weeks ago about life in general he suggested that when I am listening to my favorite songs I should play close attention to the words to find out what they mean to me.  Ever since then I have been hearing the words in a completely different way than I ever have. "Horrified looks from Everyone in the room But I'm only looking at you." This is from a Taylor Swift song (of course) where she breaks up a wedding when the guy was marrying an awful girl. What it means to me at the moment: For the majority of my life people have always felt the need to try and control me with their opinions and their life style.  Being the ME that I am, I always choose to be ME.  I drown out the thoughts, opinions, ideas, hurts, pains and experiences of others as well as my mind and in the quiet I listen to my heart.  I find that that is the only place where MY true answers lie, within me.  People always look outside themselves for answers, but I...

"In life, you do not have to do anything, It is all a question of what you are being. " Neale Donald Walsch. I am trying to "be" the thing called "happiness", the thing called "peace" and the thing called "love".  I think I'm doing a pretty good job. =)  Being these things creates the experience of having them (since you can't be them and not have them).  The method works for me, that's for sure! I am truly worn out.  After being in bed all weekend trying to get better (which worked by the way), I was back on Mummy duty as a volunteer at Scout Camp.  I promised Kaiden I would be there so my body had no choice but to cooperate with me and be there and functional. I still can't get over how big he is, and I don't just mean physically.  He has always been a mature independent young man, but it seems from week to week he has drastic growth. After this pic I finally convinced him to get a trim. It is on...

"There is no need for temples, No need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; My philosophy is kindness." The Dalai Lama I haven't been feeling well the past few days, sucks being in bed "taking it easy." Between Mummy, Daddy and John they won't let me do much.  Bleh.  I feel great, in my mind, but they are right.  And I am so thankful to have parents that care about me so much and have always been so loving, supportive and accepting.  In my adult years I have seen great contrast that has directly shown me how truly amazing they are. I love my parents!!! And all my other sweet friends and family, and ex-family, I am so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life in the ups and downs of it all.    And of course, John, who waits on me hand and foot, I am enjoying being spoilt!  He tries to do it all the time but being the "independent woman" I am I don't allow him to too much.  Missing my little pumpk...

If I could sum up our relationship with one word it would be magical.   It seems like the combo of John+Becca=Magic.  Since we have been together it has been a series of magical moments that are joined into one big segment callee our life together.  Last night was nothing short of this "magic" we have come to expect of our time together.  After a very, lets say interesting and happy, yet emotional day we got to close the evening with an extra magical experience.  We went to see the one man in the world that can make me cry, Josh Groban. His voice is that of an angel, it vibrates through my soul.  I, as always, lost my composure a few times and shed a tear or two, John just smiled and held my hand and offered a shoulder to rest my head.  He seemed to enjoy watching me enjoy the concert more than he enjoyed the concert himself.  So sweet. We are so in love, and so happy. "Who puts the rainbow in the sky? Who lights the stars at night? Wh...

"When I want for you what I want for you, I am loving myself through you.  When I want for you what you want for you then I truly love you." Neale Donald Walcsh, Conversations with God.

Me, being the genius I am, decided that I am going to jam pack the boys summer with things to do.  I heard an interview once where a successful woman was asked how did she remain motivated (or something along the lines of that).  Her response was pretty cool to me, "Because when I was a kid my parents always had me involved in things so doing nothing doesn't feel right."  Since I want smart, caring successful boys I have tried to keep them moving.  Turns out it is I that cannot keep up with this as well as I thought I could (so much for my theory of having kids young so I have the energy to keep up with them). Sunday was a scout event at the Gwinett Braves game.  Being the Super Mom I am I arrived well early to be there for the Q&A and the parade.  Game started at 2pm, I show up at 11:30am for a long hot 95 degree day in the sun. If you look carefully at the pics below you can see our misery. We left the game early, just couldn't take the heat....

Today is Rachael's Birthday.  She would have been 29.  I wanted to have more time for this blog but all the summer activity with the kids, it has made it hard.  I just want to say how much I love her.  I remember so many of her birthdays where I was jealous of her many gifts.  Me: "Mummy, when I am 13 you better get me something as special!". "Mummy, when I am 16 you better get me something as special!"  Mummy lived up to this.  I only wish that today I could say, "Mummy, when I am 29 you can get me something as special!"  But this ended years ago.  I now only wish I could talk to my sister once more, hug her once more, see her once more.  I love her, more than words can describe as they are limited.  I love her, truly love her,  and I look forward to the day when I will see her again. 

I finally finished watching the very last Oprah show, she is my role model.  She said something that I live my life by, "You are responsible for YOUR life."  There are way too many people that blame everyone else for their problems, they therefore get bitter and expect others to fix their problems.  It is so much easier to blame others, but it is weak and generates no growth.  I have built a lot of strength from this knowing, knowing that I am responsible for my life and the creator of my destiny.  I spend every moment with my boys teaching the same thing because I don't want them wasting time pointing fingers, but rather take a look at themselves and see how they can change their own lives. With that said, turns out I have created a lot of love around me, it is what I have been consciously choosing to allow into my life.  Now that everything has calmed down since all the birthdays and all the other things I was dealing with I am able to focus on the love...