Skip to main content

Rachael Bowen


Today makes 8 years since we lost her.  Seems crazy how the times flies.  I tried for so long to remember every detail of her, her voice, her smile, her personality, her hands... I wanted it to be 2 days ago forever, so I could remember her perfectly.  After not hearing her voice for 8 years, I only have a vague memory of what it sounds like, and I miss it.

I do remember singing our hearts out to spice girls, about 8 years after no one else listened to them anymore, I remember going to her room because I couldn't sleep and talking all night.  I remember May 14th, 2002, the last time I saw her, I remember word for word our last conversation.  I remember waking up to the news.  I remember the days, weeks and months after when I could do nothing but cry and pray for an angel to help me start to live again because I knew I couldn't do it on my own.  Then I found out that I was pregnant, due May 15th, I was sent an angel.  A year later, I, again, found out I was pregnant due May15th.  Another angel.  

I am grateful for my babies, they helped, and are still helping to mend my heart after losing her.  I will always miss her, and not a day goes by that I do not think about her.  I go back in time everyday for a few moments to relive some of our time together.  Kaiden is very much like her, and Ethan like me, and it is as though I am reliving my time with her by watching them together, and I am thankful for that.  I know she is with me everyday all the time and I am very thankful for the 19 years that I had her with me in the physical, and thankful for my 2 angels that brought my life purpose again.

"Every step I take, every move I make, every single day, every time I pray... I'll be missing you."

Comments

  1. Beautifully written! She will truly be missed forever, but never ever forgotten. She brought us closer, and because of her we became the bestest of friends. I love that you and I can talk about her frequently like she never left. Love you and your family.
    -your bestie

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Beautiful Baby Shower

This past weekend was our baby shower!!  We decided to do it a bit early because I am one of those over-organized, over-prepared types.  It was hosted by my best friend Kindle and my sister Bianca.

I told Kindle I wanted a slight winter wonderland pink theme since it is so close to Christmas and this is what I walked in to!
It was absolutely beautiful, and we were joined by all our best family and friends, we appreciate everyone that made this such a special day for us.


 This game was to guess how big I was and believe it or not the winner was Ethan!!
He definitely knows his Mummy!
 The chocolate diaper game. (It was Johns first shower, he must've thought we were all crazy).
 Getting ready for presents!! (The boys got to open them all).
 Kindle surprised the boys with a gift each.
It was a shirt with their picture saying "I'm the biggest Brother" and "I'm the big Brother" for the hospital.
Most thoughtful thing ever!!!
I wish I could relive this day over and ov…

Christmas 2016

I can honestly say that I miss blogging.  Facebook "memories" option has made me realize how nice it is to be able to look back at our family life and adventures.

I will (eventually) try and get caught up on the past few months, because we all know that I have photographed each and every moment, but for now I will start with Christmas.

We started shopping later than normal but managed to get everything done with time to spare to relax and enjoy the season.

Mummy came from England, I did not realize it but this is only her first Christmas with Amalia!  We spent the day with great family friends, Peter, Debbie and their family.  It has been a tradition for many years to do Christmas and/or Thanksgiving with them.

As per usual we had Santa Jeaux come and visit along with all the kids friends.  It was such a nice reunion not only with our friend Santa, but the kids miss their friends dearly it is always a great occasion to get them together again.  I appreciate all the other m…

Our Garden

I have promised the kids that once spring came around we can plant a garden since in our top back yard we have 2 big beds.
It was s a lot of work to clean out the beds it was full of debris that took us a long time to sift out, but it was oh so worth it!

I wish I had before and after pictures to show you just how bad it was, but I didn't think about it because I was in full on mission mode.

We still need to plant the second bed, it has been a bit rainy, and to be completely honest I am terrified of worms, caterpillars and snakes.

My community Facebook page has been posting about copperheads everywhere so I am hyper paranoid when I am out there, but I hope to get around to it soon!